Tossing and Turning

Krasnadon Part II

It is 5:00 Wednesday morning and I cannot sleep.  Lucea’s sweet smile stares back at me in the dark; an 11 year old in the special needs orphanage who cannot walk but even more regrettably cannot write because she is not counted worthy of education.  Faces of 11 year old girls at Krasnadon morph into faces of young unmarried women with babies in their laps. The bashful half-grin of quiet 15 year old Kostya screams at me “I turn 16 in 5 months and I have no one!”  And so I toss and turn until I finally decide I must share these stories with you.  And ask you to share them with others.  And pray they spread like wildfire until one day I have no child for which to weep.  I think of my Lord staring out over Jerusalem lamenting his longing to gather his children the way a hen protects her chicks under her wings.  But in this case it is not because they refuse.  Instead the orphans are plentiful; the parents are few.  Here in Ukraine and around the world.  Won’t you do your part to comfort, to aid, to parent these children?

Yesterday, we intended to visit the special needs orphanage.  It was time to take them diapers plus we hoped to have sabrinya with some of the older children.  However, someone had gotten sick during the night and they were under quarantine.  We got to visit with Lucea for just a little while and we talked to the medical director about how things were going and if they needed other help.  They would like to add wipes to their monthly delivery and the diapers are low because they have been using them for all the children instead of just the bedridden ones.  The special needs fund is low and we need your help for this. 

I was saddened to watch Taryn interacting with 11 year old Lucea.  She is about the size of Jay who is 6.  We think she has CP and possibly FAS.  But she could learn to write, to count, to say her colors.  We took out the sketch pad and a pen and she scribbled for a few minutes.  Then we gave her heart stickers and she covered the page with them.  She clapped her hands in delight over the pajama pants and the Tshirt that Taryn gave her.  And then she was placed back into the arms of her caregiver and was put back into a bed. There, she is not allowed pens and paper, stickers, possibly even pajama pants.  She is available for adoption.  She needs a family or she will waste away.  We are discussing the possibility of hosting some of these children in the future.  That will cost more money.  We need your help.

Next we drove to a home where unwed mothers are cared for.  The home was founded by a woman in a church here and is now supported by both the church and the government.  It is in a former kindergarten building.  It is well furnished and nicely decorated.  The mothers had asked Lori last week when she would be bringing another team of Americans.  I asked her what we could bring as gifts.  She said nothing.  They just want to talk to you and hear about your life.  In other words, they want love.  Attention.  Affection.  Many of the mothers that stay there are orphaned.  Some are older moms who have had their other children taken away from them.  They can stay at the home until the baby turns 18 months though few stay that long.  They help them to find resources but some go back to boyfriends or other situations from whence they came.  One of the babies, way too small for her age, had a lazy eye.  I know it can be corrected.  Instead, I held her and silently prayed that she would not repeat the mistakes of her mother.  I praised them for giving their children the gift of life.  It would have been easier to abort them.  I cannot blame them, outside of Christ, from seeking love, attention, affection from a man.  We gave those who had not already received one a Jesus Storybook Bible.  Pray they will read it and see Christ.  Ask God to open their eyes to their need for Him.  Support Lori Jackson with prayer and financial support.  She is an American from Tallahassee, living in Lugansk.  She visits these moms.  She visits the orphanages.  She ministers to the graduates in many ways.  She is the hands and feet of Christ in Lugansk.  She epitomizes love.

On a lighter note, we decided to have a real lunch Tuesday for the first time.  It put us an hour behind which is why we have been skipping it, opting instead for the supermarket on the run. (meals and showering, in my opinion, are 2 optional activities in Ukraine).  But Ukraine restaurants are just funny.  It was 12:15 when we sat down.  We tried to order the “business lunch” and were told we could not because it was not lunch time.  What?!  This was the same restaurant which, in October, told us they did not offer plain cheese pizzas.  They had to put toppings on them.  After that wasted hour, we headed back to the orphanage in Krasnadon.

Sergey and curly Nastia greeted us along with some other children.  They know Lori well and led her upstairs to the teacher’s lounge to hang out.  Anton met with the Director to go over hosting technicalities.  I pondered whether to go with him.  I met with her for a few minutes the day before and I just did not feel inclined to go.  In light of my previous posts about directors, you might find this odd.  But when Anton returned and told me about the conversations they had, I knew why the Lord had kept me away.  The director and others were able to ask Anton questions about us that I don’t think they would have asked us directly.  Why do they do this?  What benefit do they get?  We cannot understand why they would do it if they are not getting something from it.  I know that Christ was glorified in Anton’s answers even without my being there.  

We never got all of our hosted kids together at one time but they came and went during the next 5 hours that we spent there at Krasnadon.  We saw more of their personalities.  Yana does not like her picture taken.  Sergey is ultra competitive and will cheat at Trouble to win.  One of the Kristinas is quiet and shy; the other danced with Taryn to cell phone music.  Curly Nastia is affectionate and loving.  The other Nastia is more hesitant.  Most of these children are still so young.  3 eleven year olds.  One 12 year old and 2 fourteen year olds.  Besides being young, they are small.  I look at them in their small cuteness and I think that they are “adoptable”.  But one day they will be 15 year old adolescent graduates and their adoptableness declines.  Kristina and Sergey graduate in 2014.  They are too young, too little, too immature.  And few families are looking for teenagers to adopt.  GtU is not about adoption; I keep saying that.  And it’s not, really.  It’s about grace; about the gospel; about relationships.  But when I see 11 year old Nastia as young mother Vicka, needing love and affection, I have to ask you to consider adoption as an option for your family. 

Yeah so, older kids.  Kostya’s shy grin shouting at me in the wee hours of the morning.  He turns 16 in June.  It’s the older kids that keep me awake.  He graduates this year.  As does Tanya and her brother Yura.  I will talk to them about what is next.  Perhaps they don’t even know.  It’s a dark part of the world.  I don’t know what I would do.  Tanya and Yura have extended family that love them.  Kostya has no one.  I just sent a text to Anton asking him to add Kostya to our hosting program if it is not too late.  Unless a family steps up before his 16^th birthday, it IS too late for him to find a family.  It is not too late for him to sit during sabrinya and hear of the God who loves him and died for him.  It is not too late to befriend him; to offer guidance, support, mentoring.  Antratsit is void of Christianity.  Not that Christianity is equal with Americanism, but there is no western influence there.  We were stopped by people in the streets because they heard us speak English. But I appeal to my American friends because you are my audience.  Maybe there is a family, a young man, a couple praying about where God might lead them to share the gospel and plant a church.  Maybe you can ask him if Antratsit is the place.  Schotova orphanage might not be around for long.  Already, they send the younger children to the village school due to economics.  They will probably send the older kids there next year.  They do not like that idea.  Lena said they would be made fun of because “they live in an internat”.  Sasha said “and I will fight with them and get into trouble”.  There is no place for them.  If the orphanage cannot afford to stay open, they will be sent elsewhere.  I don’t want to lose them. 

This is why I couldn’t sleep.  Will you please pray with me for all of these situations?  Will you advocate?  Go?  Give? Adopt?  Ministry is hard.  Once you see a face, a smile, get a hug from a child, you cannot forget.  You cannot go on with life as usual.  Your heart hurts and you always feel like you can do more.  Our God is big.  He CAN do more.  May we all, through Him, do abundantly above and beyond what any of us could ever have imagined.