Being Served

We arrived in Antratsit a little before 1:00 am.  Sergey, whom we have known for almost 5 years, picked us up from Donetsk.  He was our driver back during our adoptions.  He could not believe we had so much luggage and was afraid we could not pack it all into his car.  We somehow did and enjoyed listening to his American music the next hour and a half.

We got 2 suites at the Hotel Wellness, $32 a night.  We slept in on Friday, knowing the kids had school.  We tried to find a coffee shop but perhaps we just didn’t look in the right place.  We did go to the supermarket and stock up on food for the kids at the orphanage.  Anton arrived at about 11:00 and we were on our way to Schotova.

The first to come out and greet us was Sasha S. and he presented to me as a gift a beautiful picture of him and his hopeful soon to be parents, Glen and Courtney.  Next were some boys I did not know well but had letters for them, Spartak, Artem, Vasya, and Vitya.  We are hosting Vitya this summer and he soon warmed up to us.  Lena and Tanya made their way outside and we headed inside where it was warmer. 

We went up to the TV where the kid gather, to well, watch TV.  And stare at their phones.  It struck me after a couple of days that there is such a lack of things to do.  I remember when we first adopted that our boys were totally clueless about how to entertain themselves.  They had never learned to just play.  How could they?

Anyway, you could tell that the kids we are hosting had been informed of that fact and there was sort of a stand-offish attitude at first from the other children.  It took time for them all to feel comfortable with us.  When I say “all” I am referring to those who were there in the TV room.  A lot of the boys came in and hung out with us; not so much the girls.  Nastia and Vicka, 2 girls who have been to America with another hosting program were there.  No smiles from them at first.  But an hour or so into the visit, they joined our games.  We never even saw the older girls other than Lena and Tanya.  Yura, who we hosted last summer, was nowhere to be found but after awhile he, too, turned up and we got a chance to chat and deliver some gifts sent by a family hoping to adopt him. 

There is one boy we had chosen for hosting who I had never met.  His name is Yura and he just turned 15.  I asked about him and Tanya, who is obviously a leader in the orphanage, went to get him.  He walked in without a word.  I introduced myself and got nothing.  I asked him if he knew he was coming to America in the summer.  He said “they told me.”  I said “Well, can I at least get a smile?”  Obviously not.  I was thinking “oh no” but hoping after some time in America he would come out of his shell, sort of like Andrey did last summer.  After that less than meaningful conversation, he disappeared.   I sent Tanya to get him twice after that; once to eat and again to give him a gift we had brought our hosted kids.  He did show up to walk with the other boys to escort us to the bus stop at about 7:00 and offered a reluctant hug when the other kids did.  I thought, well maybe the darkness gives him a little safety in reaching out.  Hope springs eternal.

Alona had joined us from Lugansk as a translator and when we got back to Antratsit we found Green Park, a restaurant Lisa Tucker had told us about.  It was good but oh were they glad to see us go.  My sweet Jay has impulsivity issues.  Enough said.

Sunday morning, we got on the bus again and headed back to Schotova to pick up our hosted kids. Sasha S. and Vitya came running out to meet us with smiles on their faces.  Oh, dear Lord, set the lonely in families I pray.  We went in to get the rest of the kids.  We learned that Yura, from last year, had gone to visit his grandmother because it was her birthday; Pasha had gone for a visit with his mother for first time in a long while, and Yura, Tanya’s brother, was also with extended family.  The dorm parent went and got Yura, (Mr. I-will-not-smile-at –you-no-matter-what) and Sasha, Lena’s brother.  He is another shy one.  He and Lena could be twins, they look so much alike.  But Lena is outgoing to the max and Sasha is quiet and reserved with the cutest smile and dimples.  The dorm parent forced a hug and I told her it was OK, they were boys. 

Finally, we headed out into the cold and walked back to the bus stop.  We got on a very small bus with a gazillion other people and marveled at the honesty of passengers who pass their bus fare to the front through unknown hands and wait on the change to return the same way.  Jay was somewhere in the crowd with Lena.  He never left her side; declaring at one point that he loved her more than me!  Upon arriving back in Antratsit, we went to the hotel room and had breakfast.  I showed the kids pictures of mine and Taryn’s families and talked about what hosting would be like.  I asked them why they thought we hosted.  Answers  given were to give them rest; because it is interesting to them; because some of them will find families; I asked then why do I come visit?  A little more hesitancy in answering that.   But finally, sweet Sasha spoke up and said “to get to know us better”. Smart child.  Yes, I told them but also I host and come visit because I love you.  Their expressions were priceless.  A combination of happiness and curiosity.  Then I shared with them God’s special love for the fatherless and how when I learn more about God, he gives me more love for them.  I used Sasha’s answer to show them how it was important to “get to know God better” so that our love for him could grow just like our love for each other.  And Tanya added that we learn about God in the summer at “sabrinya” which is what we called our Bible study time during hosting last year.  And as the day went on with such discussions, and with laughter, and posing for photo booth, and games at the arcade, trust grew, love blossomed, and relationships began or cemented. 

When we got back to the orphanage later in the afternoon, withdrawn Yura, who yesterday had hid in his room, played games, laughed, talked, but still cut his serious eyes at me to see if I was noticing.  Sasha, Lena’s brother, no longer had to be “forced” to hug us.  16 year old Sergey, arms scarred from cutting, joined us later in the day.  He had the most beautiful smile that must have been hiding deep pain.  I just cannot imagine being unloved and unvalued.  Some of these kids have aunts and grandmothers that they can visit.  Some have no one.  I am so thankful the Lord continues to give us eyes to see their pain and a desire to share His love with them.

One of the girls hanging out with us that we had met previously has been hosted a few times through another organization.  It was such a testimony to hosting to see a new light in her eyes this weekend.  She played cards with us, laughed, and talked, where previously she had been sullen and withdrawn.  Love can do wonders for a child. 

The kids once again walked us to the us to the bus stop at the end of the day.  Yura held my hand as we walked, love already transforming him.  They all hugged and waived and said good-bye over and over.  We stopped by again for just a little while Monday morning.  The kids presented us with gifts, angels for me and Taryn and necklaces for Alexandra and Jay.  I had the thought that I had come here to serve and ended up being served.  Served by abandoned, neglected, lonely children.  They had carried my bags; played with my son;  joyfully taken away garbage; shared their gifts with their friends; and now were giving gifts to us.  I know Jesus would say to them as he said to the widow in Luke 12:  You have put put in more than all; for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God,but you out of your poverty put in all the livelihood that you had.