Saturday, April 6, 2013

A Blog of Two Worlds

This world. Sitting in the dugout at a tee ball game amongst irrelevance. One mom screaming at her 5 year old to get his hand out of his mouth and pay attention. One dad continuously making trips into the dugout to scold his 6 year old son for running too slow.

The other world. Children living in a government orphanage. Either abused or abandoned by their parents or without living parents. Unwanted.

I straddle the two worlds. Watching the game while chatting on my phone with a family seeking to obey God's command to care for orphans. They share that they are going to pursue the adoption of 2 children I know.

I stare out into left field and cry. Tears of joy because 2 more children in that other world are wanted.  Yet gripped with a sort of surreal sadness in the midst of people blind to what is truly relevant.

Two worlds. Distant and yet I exist in both. Unable to reconcile them, but thankful when they collide.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Searching for Peace

I correspond regularly with one of my Ukrainian son's brother.  He was too old to be adopted when we adopted our son.  I spend time with him every time I go to Ukraine.  I grieve for him because I know he wishes he could be here with us.  He has no one.  No parents.  No grandparents.  No siblings other than my son.  His eyes are always so sad and it breaks my heart.  I can't even try to bring him here on any sort of visa due to paperwork issues that won't get resolved for a few more years. Today he told me about a nice girl he had met.  I told him how much I wanted the best for him and I prayed he would find love and happiness.  He thanked me but explained there were just so few "good people" in his world.  He asked me to write him more often because it makes him feel more peaceful.  He calls me Mommy.  I call him son.

He does not want to become a statistic.  He is only 23.  He works.  He has a roof over his head.  He is not an alcoholic.  But his life is empty and he is alone.  I know that I am not the answer.  I know I cannot fill the void in his heart.  I can continue to love him.  Share Christ with him.  And do what I can to prevent others from sharing his fate.