The Desires of My Heart

So how do you explain going to Ukraine to follow up with the children we hosted this past summer and coming home with a desire to coordinate a medical conference for caretakers of children with special needs?  How does a desire to plan for next year’s hosting program turn itself into a long term of goal of bringing the gospel to an entire community?  I can explain it no other way than by saying that God is giving me the desires of my heart. 

I am going to step out on a theological limb right here.  As I made phone calls this week, skyped, wrote letters, and met with board members, seemingly driven by a motor, I had this sudden revelation:  God is giving me the desires of my heart.  Here is the theological limb.  I did not first have a desire that God granted.  Rather, God has given me a desire.  My heart has new desires; not any that I sought after; but those that he has sovereignly chosen to give.

I remembered this today during worship service at the Church at Brook Hills.  We sang:

“Praise to the Lord

Who o'er all things so wonderfully reigneth
Shelters thee under His wings
Yea, so gladly sustaineth
Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

My spirit soared; seeing how my desires have been granted in what God Himself ordained to occur while we were in Ukraine.  I have known Dr. Jim and Marianna Peipon for 5 years.  Unbeknownst to me, Dr. Jim  has been bringing teams to Kyiv, Ukraine for 5 years, speaking to caregivers, teachers, and parents about a multi-disciplinary approach to treating children with disabilities.   He has been looking for connections in eastern Ukraine.  God took me to eastern Ukraine and gave me connections.  All I really wanted to do was provide disposable diapers to children who needed them.  God wanted more.

Last spring, Anton interviewed several orphanage directors before recommending one to host from.  One of the orphanages, I had never heard of or visited.  I visited for the first time this month.  I can tell you that there is a noticeable and distinct difference in the atmosphere of orphanages where there is a regular gospel presence.   When Christians are visiting, hugging, leaving small tokens of grace, there is a light not found where Christians are absent.  Anton unknowingly chose an orphanage for us which lacked those invaluable tokens of grace.  I have seen first hand how hosting can affect an orphanage.  Christian families come to adopt.  Missionaries make connections.  English lessons are offered.  Repairs are made.  The Bible gets opened.   God knew where grace was needed and He sent us there.  I remember little Yura this summer, hanging on my every word, waiting to hear how Eve would respond to the serpent.  I remember the questions about heaven, the quiet contemplation of the Jesus Film.  And I remember the coldness of the orphanage to which they returned.

I rest today in the assurance of Philippians 2 that it is God who not only gives the desire, but also the ability to do what pleases Him.  My cause, to bring grace to the lives of orphans and the lost in Ukraine, finds success because it is God’s cause:

Psalm 37:4-6:

 Delight yourself in the Lord
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
    the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

May it be so.