Ukraine, Here We Come!

I have been absent from the blogging world for a few weeks.  I have been under the weather but also have been very busy getting ready to go to Ukraine.  I will be leaving today along with 2 others: Taryn Kilpatrick, one of our board members, and my daughter, Alexandra, who has been ministering to orphans in Ukraine for as long as I have.  She has, in fact, been to Ukraine more times than me and knows way more Russian than me!  I am so happy that she is joining us this trip! (Jay, of course, will be with us!)

While I have suitcases filled with socks for the children, and the beginnings of camp supplies for this summer, my purpose for this trip is not to carry supplies.  Rather, I feel that it is so important to nurture the relationships we are building with the children as well as their caregivers.  I don't think it is enough to host the children in the summer and then never see them again.  As I have pointed out before, we must build relationships with the children now if we expect to be able to impact them in the future, as they graduate from the orphanage and beyond.  If you read my previous post, Directors are People, Too, you also know that I have some rebuilding to do with the Directors.  I am looking forward to getting to know the adults that are responsible for the care of the children that we love.

So please pray for us this week.  I want the name of Christ to be honored.  I want God to be glorified.  Not us.  Or America.  Or socks and other gifts.  Pray for me personally that I will remember that the Gospel is about people, not projects.  Pray for Taryn and Alexandra, that God would use them to bring love and healing to the broken.  Pray for the children.  The Directors.  Others that we meet along the way.  By praying, you are a necessary part of Grace to Ukraine and become the conduit through which we believe God will move mountains.

Strike Three

I had a revelation at about 1:30 this morning and I couldn’t sleep.  Most often, people think of adoption, especially into an America family, as the best thing that could ever happen to a child.  I have had people (including myself) tell my children how lucky they are, how blessed they are, how appreciative and grateful they must be.  What hit me early this morning was that it is the worst thing that can happen to a child. And then I couldn’t sleep.

Just think.  You lose your parents.  I cannot imagine the pain of that.  Whether the parent died or was neglectful, you lose the one person in the world to whom you had the strongest connection.  The person who was supposed to love you and care for you until adulthood.  Strike one.

Then you are placed into an orphanage.  Your basic physical needs are met.  But there is no mama to tuck you in.  No papa to teach you to ride a bike.  No mama to wipe away your tears.  No papa to teach you to respect the girls.  No mama to tousle your hair and tell you that you  are the most handsome boy she knows.  No papa to set the example of hard work and leadership.  No parents to affirm your worth.  No parents to meet your basic emotional needs.  Strike two.

Then a strange man and woman come.  They are obnoxiously happy.  They bring stuff and make promises.  They speak a different language.  They offer you things you have only dreamed of.  They put you on a plane and take you to country where everything is different.  And expect you to fit in.  You try.  But the language is hard.  The culture is different.  The other children your age seem to understand something you just can’t grasp.  You can’t fit in, no matter how hard you try.  Strike three.

Is the point of all this that we don’t go to a foreign country and adopt?  By no means!  The point is, what are you, as that American parent, going to do after strike three?  When they grieve, will you roll your eyes?  When their work ethic and coping skills are obviously lacking, will you throw up your hands and walk away?  When they cope with their loss in the only ways they have learned, will you threaten and cajole and punish?  When they just can’t seem to fit in, no matter how hard they try, will you reject? 

At one point or another, I have done all these things.  Rolled my eyes.  Thrown up my hands.  Walked away.  Screamed.  Threatened.  Rejected.  But now my heart has seen their reality.  Stripped of parents.  Stripped of dignity.  Stripped of their culture and their language.  How can I now roar “You’re outta here!!!”  I can’t.  Perhaps, instead, I will put the ball on a tee.  Maybe we’ll play soft pitch.  We might even put away the ball and bat and just sit in the dugout together and stare silently at the other players.  You know, the good ones, the star athletes, who have it all together.  Then I will tousle his hair and tell him he is the most handsome boy I know.  I will wipe away his tear.    We will go home, and by God's grace, we will affirm his worth by trying to create a place in which he can fit in.  Without even trying.  

Directors are People, Too.

Orphanage directors are people, too.  Perhaps an odd title for a blog, you might say.  But I have to keep reminding myself of this fact.  I tend to see orphanage directors as a means to an end.  They can either be helpful or obstructive to ministries wanting “access” to their children.  I am just trying to be honest, here.  This hit me in a big way after our most recent trip to Ukraine.

I am often a tunnel-visioned person when it comes to projects I am pursuing.  It was no different in October when we went to visit the children we had hosted last summer.  I had clothes to deliver; Bibles to distribute; games to play; children to hug, and well, pity the poor soul who got in my way.  I came home after that trip with a heavy heart for my dictatorial attitude.  The orphanage directors were probably most thankful to see me go.

Don’t think for one minute that I am wallowing in self-imposed guilt.  I don’t feel guilty at all.  What I feel is broken.  God, in His grace and mercy towards me and the directors, broke my heart for them.  He opened my eyes to see them as precious individuals made in His image, as much as the children in their care.  God allowed me to see myself through their eyes.  And at that moment, I could not wait to go back. 

I want to sit down with the adults I encounter.  I want to learn their names.  Their childrens’ names.   Their struggles.  Their hopes and dreams.  I want to see them through eyes of grace, not as a means to an end, but as a fellow pilgrim in this journey called life. 

This conviction was confirmed to me last Sunday when my pastor, David Platt, reminded us at the Church at Brook Hills, that the gospel is about people, not projects.  I am naturally a project-oriented person.  Give me a project and I will get it done.  To be people-oriented takes more time.  More patience.  And more God.  It does not come naturally to me.  I am so thankful to serve a God who tells me in 2 Corinthians 12:9:  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  In 4 weeks, I will make another trip to Ukraine.  Pray for me, that God’s power, not my on, will be on display.  

Suzette

Nice to Meet You

We have been learning some common greetings for when you go to Ukraine or meet a Ukrainian child.  Hello.  How are you?  What is your name?  And now we have to learn to say "nice to meet you."  The easy and informal way is "Очень приятно" (o-chen pree-yat-nah).  Or the more formal, which I practiced and practiced before I went to Ukraine the first time, is "Приятно познакомиться (Pree-yatnah poz-nah-ko-meet'sa).  ("Очень" by the way means "very" and is often used like our own adverb: very hungry, very cold, I miss you very much.  It sounds kind of like ocean but with a "ch" instead of "sh".)   It definitely helps to listen to the words, not just read them!  A free downloadable resource is "Before You Know It". Yes, it is free.  No excuse not to download it and practice a little Russian daily.  You won't regret it!  http://www.byki.com/fls/FLS.html

The Jesus Storybook Bible

We will be using the Jesus Storybook Bible to share the Gospel during hosting as well as at Camp Friendship.  I have been reading it.  Writing a curriculum based on it.  And I have been blessed.  I like the Jesus Storybook Bible.  I like it for children, teens, adults. Orphans, adopted children.  Biological children. Parents.  Yeah, I pretty much like it for everyone.  Anyone.  Why?  Especially since its a "storybook", not a word for word translation by any means.  There are a lot of reasons why I like it.  I will give one, based upon my personal experience.

When my older children were little, I took the whole character training route.  Not that there is anything wrong with character training.  UNLESS, they pick up along the way that good character earns them favor with you.  And with God.  At some point, by God’s grace, I learned that character could not be taught apart from the Gospel.  One might as well teach a blind man to see. Not that I don’t struggle with this still.  But that’s why I like the Jesus Storybook Bible. Everyone, anyone, will see the precious Gospel woven throughout; they will see God, Christ, in every story, not the dreaded to do list.  

A beautiful example from the story of the Ten commandments:  "God promises to look after you," Moses said.  "Will you love him and keep these rules?"  "We can do it! Yes! We promise!"  But they were wrong.  They couldn't do it.  no matter how hard they tried, they could never keep God's rules all the time.  God knew they couldn't.  And He wanted them to know it, too.  Only One Person could keep all the rules.  And many years later God would send Him - to stand in their place and be perfect for them.  Because the rules couldn't save them.  Only God could save them.  

Like many, I taught my children when they were young about  the rules they had to follow in order to escape my wrath and God's.  I taught them about the characters in the Bible, more than about the God of the Bible.  I taught them that Noah was the only “good” man in the world, and thus he was saved from the flood.  I taught them about Joseph’s bad brothers selling him into slavery; I told them they could be Davids slaying their Goliaths. I tried to teach them to be good….or else. 

Our dialogues went something like this:

Me:  why can’t you just obey me?

Child: I don’t know.

Me:  Well, you better figure out why because the Bible says you are to obey your parents.  Yada-yada-yada.

Today, my dialogue with my youngest goes something like this:

Child:  I can’t obey.  Its too hard.

Me:  I know.  That is why Jesus came.  He knew you could not obey on your own.

Child: Will he help me obey?

Me:  Of course, he will. 

The Jesus Storybook Bible won’t teach your kids to be like Noah, or David, or even Christ for that matter.  It won’t give you a list of character traits that your child must master.  What it will teach you, and help you to teach your kids, is that God's love is unmerited and unrestrained; and that He is a Faithful and Sovereign Creator, King and Deliverer; and that faith in Him is the only way to Him.    It will help you and your child go back to your real, non-storybook Bible, and more clearly see Christ in every story.   And I like that.  

Suzette

"Fine, thank you" and other common phrases

So, we all know the answer to "how are you?" right?  At least in English.  "Fine, thank you."  You give the same answer in Russian.  It goes like this: "хорошо,Спасибо." ( kha-rah-sho, spah-see-bah).  These two words are words that you hear very frequently and should learn.  Хорошо (kha-rah-sho) also means "OK" and is used as often as our "OK" and Спасибо!  (spah-see-bah) means thank you.  Say it often.  And speaking of thank you, the word that you say in response (equivalent to our 'you're welcome') is Пожалуйста! (pa-zhal-sta).  This word also means "please".

Here is another good site for learning the basic phrases you will need to know when you go to Ukraine.  http://www.russianlessons.net/lessons/lesson3_main.php.

Speaking of which, we are taking a small team over the first week of March.  If you would like to send a card or other small item to any of the children we are hosting or have hosted, contact me and let me know.  They love to know that you are thinking of them!  

Beads and Change

We are interrupting our regularly scheduled beginner Russian lessons, to bring you this important announcement about some easy but significant ways you can support Grace to Ukraine.  First, we have issued a "change challenge".  We are asking everyone to begin to collect their spare change and give it toward sponsoring a child for hosting this summer.  Could you and your family round up $10 worth of change lying around your house?  $20?  Whatever you can give, remember that your change can bring change for an impoverished or orphaned child in Ukraine.  If you are a business owner and can put a change collector in your place of business, let me know and I will provide you with a custom container that shows what the change goes will go toward.

Secondly, as we prepare to lead a team to Camp Friendship this summer to conduct a Bible camp, we are finding that we could use some simple items that you could help us with.  For example, Mardi Gras beads.  One day at camp we will be acting out the exodus.  We need "gold and silver" thrown at us as we leave Egypt!  Mardi Gras beads work perfect for this! I took beads another year and had the Ukrainian camp workers begging for some to take home to mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.  So to all you Mardi Gras participants out there, we need your beads!  Let me know if you can help!  As I complete the curriculum that we will be using at camp, I will post a list of needed items on our website. The money we save on supplies means more money toward helping local village children come to Camp Friendship.