Memories

Another hosting program comes to an end.  The pool towels are folded and stored away.  Beds are stripped and sheets are being washed.  The kitchen is clean.  And yet the quiet is deafening.  The emptiness is strange and uncomfortable.  The memories, sweet and yet raw.  I will attempt to share a few random memories that I hope capture the spirit of our annual hosting of Ukrainian children, orphaned and alone, through no fault of their own.   

The first few days the children were here, they were quiet during sabraniye; staring at me with unfamiliar eyes.  (Sabraniye is Russian for “gathering” and is what we call our nightly Bible study time.  The photo above is of our last sabraniye).  It did not take long before the children began interacting: sharing prayer requests, asking questions, joking, speaking longingly of their hopes and dreams. At one point my heart overflowed with joy when one boy, who had previously said he did not believe in God, asked for a Bible to read along during the lesson.  I delighted in their retention of what was begin taught; and I laughed on the last night when a previously shy boy sat in my chair and began conducting his own sabraniye, complete with my usual comments and questions.

One night we talked about treasures here on earth and how they did not compare to the treasure of Christ.  I started this discussion by asking what they longed for in this world more than anything.  None of these impoverished children said money, cars, or fame.  They wished only for a family.  My husband and I are blessed financially.  If money could make them happy; satisfy their deepest desire, then I could, and would, give it.  But I can’t provide them all a family.  Only God can do that.  And only God can reveal to them that even a family will not ultimately satisfy.  They need Christ. And yet my heart aches that they must return to a place where there is no one to lead them there. 

One of our translators who lives here in America is an orphan who has a student visa and is in college in the US.  After spending a few days around me and Jay, she remarked “I wish I could be a kid again (pause).  A kid with a family.  It must be so nice just to say ‘Mom, I need something’ and you are right there.”  We take for granted all the many blessings we have.  A home. A family.  I was asking one of our boys about his life.  He focused in on how long he had been in the orphanage.  He is 15.  He has been in the orphanage for 9 years.  “longer than anyone else” he pointed out.  He told me how long each of the other kids had been there; repeated he had been there the longest, and then he laid his head on the table, covering his face with his arms.

One Sunday,  a young man adopted from Ukraine about 6 years ago, shared his testimony with the kids.  There was not a dry eye among the Americans or the Ukrainian children as he shared about his life in Ukraine; his problems after adoption; and his recent transformation by Christ.  The children hung on his every word and in the end, I pray, found hope. 

I don’t do statistics.  But right here in our little group, whether it be with the kids themselves or their friends and extended families back in Ukraine, we see teen pregnancy, cutting, abuse, prison.  Sin has ruined our world.  It has ruined the lives of these 19 children.   In Ukraine, America, Africa, Haiti, the harvest is plentiful.  I thank God for the few harvesters He has sent into my home these last 21 days.  These children have experienced love.  And each of them has heard the gospel.  They have been hugged, fed,  pampered.  I am thankful for visitors from Iowa, Mississippi, and Colorado.  I appreciate the churches and businesses who have sponsored meals and activities.  And yet sometimes I cry because of the greatness of the harvest and the scarcity of workers.  And yet in all these things, I know that we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us. 

In 2 days, a team of 13 of us, most of whom just spent the last 21 days with GtU, will board a plane to spend a month in Ukraine.  While there, we will share the love of Christ with impoverished village children.  We will once again play, hug, laugh and share what it means to follow Christ.  And then, as is always the case, we will tearfully say goodbye,  longing in our hearts for the day when sadness, poverty, alcoholism, and orphanages will all cease.  Lord Jesus, come quickly. 

A Blog of Two Worlds

This world. Sitting in the dugout at a tee ball game amongst irrelevance. One mom screaming at her 5 year old to get his hand out of his mouth and pay attention. One dad continuously making trips into the dugout to scold his 6 year old son for running too slow.

The other world. Children living in a government orphanage. Either abused or abandoned by their parents or without living parents. Unwanted.

I straddle the two worlds. Watching the game while chatting on my phone with a family seeking to obey God's command to care for orphans. They share that they are going to pursue the adoption of 2 children I know.

I stare out into left field and cry. Tears of joy because 2 more children in that other world are wanted.  Yet gripped with a sort of surreal sadness in the midst of people blind to what is truly relevant.

Two worlds. Distant and yet I exist in both. Unable to reconcile them, but thankful when they collide.

Searching for Peace

I correspond regularly with one of my Ukrainian son's brother.  He was too old to be adopted when we adopted our son.  I spend time with him every time I go to Ukraine.  I grieve for him because I know he wishes he could be here with us.  He has no one.  No parents.  No grandparents.  No siblings other than my son.  His eyes are always so sad and it breaks my heart.  I can't even try to bring him here on any sort of visa due to paperwork issues that won't get resolved for a few more years. Today he told me about a nice girl he had met.  I told him how much I wanted the best for him and I prayed he would find love and happiness.  He thanked me but explained there were just so few "good people" in his world.  He asked me to write him more often because it makes him feel more peaceful.  He calls me Mommy.  I call him son.

He does not want to become a statistic.  He is only 23.  He works.  He has a roof over his head.  He is not an alcoholic.  But his life is empty and he is alone.  I know that I am not the answer.  I know I cannot fill the void in his heart.  I can continue to love him.  Share Christ with him.  And do what I can to prevent others from sharing his fate.

9 Weeks to Go

19 CHILDREN!!! YAY!! and YIKES!!!!

In a previous post, I wrote about 4 children from Bela who thought they were coming in June but could not due to paperwork issues.  I left Ukraine, giving Anton instructions to find out what was going on.  For various reasons, it was just not clear to me what the status of their paperwork was.  If nothing else, I was determined to get their paperwork in order so that the children could come next year.  Well, Anton just informed me that if we were willing, three of these children can come in June!  Say what?!  "Do you want to add them?"  he asked?  There is a new rule in Ukraine that hosted children have to have "orphan status".  These particular children were in various stages of paperwork but for 3 of them, Anton was able to accomplish 2 months of paperwork in about 2 days.  Unfortunately, one of the children has not yet been to court for termination of parental rights so it was impossible for her to come.  As for the other 3, do you think I could say no?!

 Is this too many kids?  Yes!  Have we bitten off more than we can chew yet again?  Yes!  Do we now need to raise more money?  Yes!  Are these 3 children going to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ and know that they are loved and cared for?  Know that we went to bat for them when we didn't have to? Know that to someone they are important?  Yes, yes yes!!!!!  So praise the Lord once again that we are insufficient for the task before us but our God is quite up to the job.   And please, please, pray for the 4th child as well as another 16 year old girl in this same orphanage, both of whom live there without "orphan status",  cannot be hosted or adopted, and who need our love and compassion as well.  May God show us how we can reach them also with the news that are, indeed, loved.

Insufficient for the Task

It is easy to get discouraged after a mission trip.  You see the extent of the need before you and feel hopeless to meet it.  I feel this way especially right now in regard to the special needs orphanage that we support.  The dates for hosting and Camp Friendship are getting close.  The SN orphanage needs more diapers as well as wipes and Qtips.  I think "Have we bitten off more than we can chew?"  "Why didn't we just stick with a simple hosting program as originally planned?"  "How will we ever fund all three projects?"

I am thankful for friends who remind me to put my focus back on Christ, not on the circumstances.  My God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and will provide if He wills.    There is a song we often sing at the Church at Brook Hills.  If any song were to ever become the theme song for Grace to Ukraine, this would have to be it.  The song is "By Faith" by Keith and Kristyn Getty.

"By faith the church was called to go in the power of the Spirit to the lost, to deliver captives and to preach good news in every corner of the earth."  I feel like I visited empty corners last week.  Corners of the earth in which there was no gospel presence.  No grace.  Corners of hopelessness and despair.  We may not be successful in penetrating these corners but we must not give up.  It is not my job to be successful; only to be faithful.

"We will stand as children of the promise.  We will fix our eyes on Him, our soul's reward.  Till the race is finished and the work is done, we'll walk by faith and not by sight."  And so I turn my eyes away from the despair I saw last week; the poverty; the cutting; the alcoholism; the foolishness; the darkness; the forgotten and I look to Christ, for He alone is my reward.

I saw a quote by John Piper earlier this week: "If you are sufficient for your task, it is too small."   Perhaps we have bitten off more than we can chew.  Perhaps we need God for the task before us.  Perhaps that is what I need to learn most of all.

Somebody Tell Them

Here is a video of some of the children we met on our recent tript to Ukraine.  It is our prayer and our our goal to tell each of them of their worth and their hope in Christ.