A Blog of Two Worlds

This world. Sitting in the dugout at a tee ball game amongst irrelevance. One mom screaming at her 5 year old to get his hand out of his mouth and pay attention. One dad continuously making trips into the dugout to scold his 6 year old son for running too slow.

The other world. Children living in a government orphanage. Either abused or abandoned by their parents or without living parents. Unwanted.

I straddle the two worlds. Watching the game while chatting on my phone with a family seeking to obey God's command to care for orphans. They share that they are going to pursue the adoption of 2 children I know.

I stare out into left field and cry. Tears of joy because 2 more children in that other world are wanted.  Yet gripped with a sort of surreal sadness in the midst of people blind to what is truly relevant.

Two worlds. Distant and yet I exist in both. Unable to reconcile them, but thankful when they collide.

Searching for Peace

I correspond regularly with one of my Ukrainian son's brother.  He was too old to be adopted when we adopted our son.  I spend time with him every time I go to Ukraine.  I grieve for him because I know he wishes he could be here with us.  He has no one.  No parents.  No grandparents.  No siblings other than my son.  His eyes are always so sad and it breaks my heart.  I can't even try to bring him here on any sort of visa due to paperwork issues that won't get resolved for a few more years. Today he told me about a nice girl he had met.  I told him how much I wanted the best for him and I prayed he would find love and happiness.  He thanked me but explained there were just so few "good people" in his world.  He asked me to write him more often because it makes him feel more peaceful.  He calls me Mommy.  I call him son.

He does not want to become a statistic.  He is only 23.  He works.  He has a roof over his head.  He is not an alcoholic.  But his life is empty and he is alone.  I know that I am not the answer.  I know I cannot fill the void in his heart.  I can continue to love him.  Share Christ with him.  And do what I can to prevent others from sharing his fate.

9 Weeks to Go

19 CHILDREN!!! YAY!! and YIKES!!!!

In a previous post, I wrote about 4 children from Bela who thought they were coming in June but could not due to paperwork issues.  I left Ukraine, giving Anton instructions to find out what was going on.  For various reasons, it was just not clear to me what the status of their paperwork was.  If nothing else, I was determined to get their paperwork in order so that the children could come next year.  Well, Anton just informed me that if we were willing, three of these children can come in June!  Say what?!  "Do you want to add them?"  he asked?  There is a new rule in Ukraine that hosted children have to have "orphan status".  These particular children were in various stages of paperwork but for 3 of them, Anton was able to accomplish 2 months of paperwork in about 2 days.  Unfortunately, one of the children has not yet been to court for termination of parental rights so it was impossible for her to come.  As for the other 3, do you think I could say no?!

 Is this too many kids?  Yes!  Have we bitten off more than we can chew yet again?  Yes!  Do we now need to raise more money?  Yes!  Are these 3 children going to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ and know that they are loved and cared for?  Know that we went to bat for them when we didn't have to? Know that to someone they are important?  Yes, yes yes!!!!!  So praise the Lord once again that we are insufficient for the task before us but our God is quite up to the job.   And please, please, pray for the 4th child as well as another 16 year old girl in this same orphanage, both of whom live there without "orphan status",  cannot be hosted or adopted, and who need our love and compassion as well.  May God show us how we can reach them also with the news that are, indeed, loved.

Insufficient for the Task

It is easy to get discouraged after a mission trip.  You see the extent of the need before you and feel hopeless to meet it.  I feel this way especially right now in regard to the special needs orphanage that we support.  The dates for hosting and Camp Friendship are getting close.  The SN orphanage needs more diapers as well as wipes and Qtips.  I think "Have we bitten off more than we can chew?"  "Why didn't we just stick with a simple hosting program as originally planned?"  "How will we ever fund all three projects?"

I am thankful for friends who remind me to put my focus back on Christ, not on the circumstances.  My God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and will provide if He wills.    There is a song we often sing at the Church at Brook Hills.  If any song were to ever become the theme song for Grace to Ukraine, this would have to be it.  The song is "By Faith" by Keith and Kristyn Getty.

"By faith the church was called to go in the power of the Spirit to the lost, to deliver captives and to preach good news in every corner of the earth."  I feel like I visited empty corners last week.  Corners of the earth in which there was no gospel presence.  No grace.  Corners of hopelessness and despair.  We may not be successful in penetrating these corners but we must not give up.  It is not my job to be successful; only to be faithful.

"We will stand as children of the promise.  We will fix our eyes on Him, our soul's reward.  Till the race is finished and the work is done, we'll walk by faith and not by sight."  And so I turn my eyes away from the despair I saw last week; the poverty; the cutting; the alcoholism; the foolishness; the darkness; the forgotten and I look to Christ, for He alone is my reward.

I saw a quote by John Piper earlier this week: "If you are sufficient for your task, it is too small."   Perhaps we have bitten off more than we can chew.  Perhaps we need God for the task before us.  Perhaps that is what I need to learn most of all.

Somebody Tell Them

Here is a video of some of the children we met on our recent tript to Ukraine.  It is our prayer and our our goal to tell each of them of their worth and their hope in Christ.

The Importance of Hosting

I am home but feel like I left so many stories untold or at least incomplete.  First, about 15 year old Kostya.  When we went back to Schotova the next day, he greeted us and I gave him a hug but I wasn't sure if he had been told that we wanted to host him.  A little later, Lena, who is the self-appointed spokesperson for the group, came up and asked if he was going.  She clapped her hands gleefully when I said yes.  Then I went to talk to Kostya.  I put my arms around his shoulders and asked "Did they tell you that you get to come to my house in June?"  He was overcome with emotion.  He said he hardly knew what to say and that it was so unexpected.  I later found out that he rooms with Yura and Sasha who are coming, and the night before had been talking about how he wished he could come.  I knew that we had made the right decision in adding him.  So here is our group from Schotova:

After leaving Schotova, I went to dinner with the guardian who will be accompanying the kids and the girls went to Belaroschenka.  My meeting went well.  Taryn's, however, got off to a bad start.  We had made a huge mistake in October.  We talked to 4 children at Bela about being hosted, understanding that there paperwork was in order.  After we got home, we were told that they could not be hosted.  I then mistakenly assumed that the children would have been told why although I still planned to talk to them about it.  Well, Taryn was greeted by one of those children with an immediate question about hosting. She wisely chose to leave that discussion to me.  The next day when we all went back to Bela, we sat down with these children and tried to explain why they could not come.  The more we talked, the more questions we had, and we still can't figure out exactly what their status is.  But the most heart wrenching thing was that one of the girls was just absolutely devastated that she could not come.  In English, she said "I am shocked." And then the tears began to flow.  What made it even worse, if that were possible, was that she realized it was ultimately the fault of a mother who had abandoned her.  At first the issue was not being hosted, but soon she was sobbing that "When I am a mother I will not treat my children this way."  

We learned a lesson about how we approach the teachers and children about hosting.  But we also learned a lesson, through both Natasha and Kostya, about the importance of what we do.  A trip to America for these children is a dream come true.  It is a chance to just play, be children, expand their knowledge of a world beyond the orphanage.  They also know it is a chance to build relationships; to be loved; to be honored instead of looked down upon.  We are going to try and figure out if these kids' paperwork can be fixed so that they can come next year.  In the meantime, please pray for them, especially Natasha, whose heart we unintentionally broke.  Hosting has the same negatives as adoption.  Whenever you host, there are always children who must get left behind.  And when you adopt, in the midst of the joy, there is always a lingering sadness over the fact that you simply cannot take them all. 

No, we are not all called to adopt.  But could you be in that 7 % of Christians, who, if we all did adopt, would bring an end to the orphan crisis?  These 2 children were hosted last summer and a family has chosen to bring them into their family.  They arrived in Ukraine today and in 6 weeks, these 2 children will be living in America with a family who deeply loves them.  Please help me make this a reality for all the children we are able to touch in Ukraine.